#53. Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit

Hooray swearing!

But seriously, though. I knew this would happen. I have ten minutes left before the deadline, and a handy care-package of the last four posts I’ve been working on all morning, and everything’s ready to drop at precisely 11:57.

But I need one more post.

And I got nothin’.

I feel like I should be angry at myself for this. I promised myself I wouldn’t completely fuck this up procrastination-wise and have to do everything at the last minute. You’d think that anger would be coursing through my veins right now and I’d be this (puts hands really close together to signify that ‘this’ is a very very small measurement) close to screaming like some kind incredible hulk and throwing my computer out the window.

I’m not really that upset, though. Which is weird. Ignore the dammit dammit dammit part in the title- it’s like a ‘holy crap no time’ dammit rather than a ‘why am I such an IDIOT’ dammit.  And even though I’ve been churning out a ton of posts here at the endgame, I still feel like I put a whole bunch of effort into ’em. Maybe…. maybe not the Simpsons one. I just needed a break from blogging and figured I could kill two birds with one stone (Watch TV/Do homework at same time. You know the deal).

What’s weird, though, is that I knew, somehow, even though I promised I wouldn’t do this, that everything would come down to the last minute. So, I wrote out my very last ‘conclusions’ blog in advance, so that everything would have a finite cap on it even if I struggle through my procrastination-laden nature. So technically, this is my last blog post. Which feels reaaaally weird. Like, as I write a blog about struggling through Band-Aids and procrastinating even though I promised myself I wouldn’t, I can feel myself starting to relax. I feel relieved. I know, that even as I write about procrastination and screwing up, that I’m already at 335 words at this point, and everything’s basically set. So now I’ve got this weird combination of relief and anxiety in my brain. It feels super weird.

And you know what? At that, I think I’m done. So even though there’s one more post to go, this is, technically, the last thing I’ll ever write for this blog.

See ya.