Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

Archive for the ‘Week 12: Progress’ Category

#43. Just look how far we’ve come

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This post is going to be something special. Something extraordinary, even. You see, it’s not often that I come across something so profound, so wonderful, that it changes my worldview in ways that would destroy a weaker, more fragile mind.

If you have a weak stomach, please turn away.

Please. It’s for your own good.

Okay now that everyone’s stopped reading and started doing something constructive with their time, here’s the scoop:

They make plastic packaging that’s not impossible to open.

Amazing, no? So here’s how I got started on all this. I was taking some super-terrific pictures of Band-Aids for this blog, but afterward I left the SD card in my Macbook during several shutdowns/restarts. Apparently, repeatedly doing this can, on occasion, lead to slight side-effects like the memory card being reduced to a useless piece of dull plastic.

Never fear, though. I bought a new one. But as I contemplated the packaging, fear set in. It was wrapped in thick plastic, like a Mace Windu action figure, or some kind of electric shave-razor. You know the packaging I’m talking about. You can cut it with scissors, but all you can really do is mangle the plastic so much that it becomes a razor-sharp hedge maze of crying and wallpapering my hand with Band-Aids. Naturally, I was upset.

BUT WAIT

THERE’S MORE

I spotted a dotted line running across the top of the box. There was a little picture of a scissor next to it. After applying every ounce of knowledge in my college-educated brain to this problem, I finally chewed through the dotted line with my front teeth and watched the box open up like some kind of magic pirate gold chest. The SD card fell right into my hand. Angels sang. The clouds opened. A beautiful golden light rained down upon me. I retook the four pictures I had lost with the old card.

This is the greatest thing humankind will ever come up with.

All thanks to the progress from  Kingston Technologies. Progress that keeps jagged plastic shards from shredding my hand into deli meat and me having to restructure my whole hand with Band-Aids.

Written by mandudeman

May 3, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Posted in Week 12: Progress

#42. Ain’t no stoppin’ me now

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So the new directive is progress, huh?

I can do that. I even have an experience from just two days ago that demonstrates just how progressive and willing-to-continue-on-in-the-face-of-adversity I am.

So basically, I was totally photographing some Band-Aids on my back porch, and I was getting all artsy with it, and thinking like a Band-Aid, and doing all this awesome stuff that I thought was totally cool. It was totally hip. Like, you wouldn’t even know. And then in the blink of an eye, the wind kicks up and all my Band-Aids go tumbling off. It was horrible. All I could imagine was spending the next half an hour picking up Band-Aids off the cobblestones behind my apartment building. It was gonna be awful. Just… so… awful.

And yet when I looked down, ’twas not pain I saw, but a bunch of Band-Aids perfectly splattered along the ground. It was even artsy-fartsier then what I was doing before. It was great.

So I photographed the hell out of this new Band-Aid catastrophe/opportunity. I even imagined I was some kind of high class fashion photographer. I yelled at the Band-Aids about their motivation, how great they looked, how they were ‘really working it.’ My neighbors probably all think I’m nuts, but it was totally worth it.

So yeah, in case it wasn’t totally obvious, I’ve progressed from the point where spilling Band-Aids would just make me upset to the point where I can work each spill into something wonderful.

And did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis and opportunity?

Yes you did. It’s called crisitunity.

Blammo

Sha-Bamz

Written by mandudeman

April 27, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Posted in Week 12: Progress

#41. My sense of self is like a Band-Aid dinosaur sponge.

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Just dampen me for dinosaur terror.

I’d like to, at this time, thank myself for all my hard work. Is it gloating? Yes. Do I care? Not as much as you’d think. And in the interest of being frank, let me just say I didn’t really enjoy this class as much as I thought I would. It’s nothing against the class itself, or anybody in it- I just thought advertising would be the right fit for me, and it turns out it’s not. No big deal. What Curiousness did make me realize, though, is that I need to find the thing that IS the right fit for me. And I totally did.

You see, fair, gentle reader, I was…. shall we say… a wee bit insecure about applying to film school, but I knew that I could write pretty well. Plus, having spent a semester writing about Band-Aids, I figured writing an essay or two on an application here or there wouldn’t be the most difficult thing in the world.

And it wasn’t (big surprise, huh), ‘cuz over the course of this semester I’ve been able to write from the heart about Band-Aids. Maybe not in every entry. Definitely not in every entry. But every once in a while I was able to really pull some stuff out about Band-Aids that I felt actually had some kind of emotional core to it. And I had done it enough times to know the basic avenues through my own emotions to reach that sweet, nougat-y emotional core. And through doing that, I totally got into film school.

So thank you, Band-Aids. Allow me to show my appreciation by putting you up on the wall.

(heh heh heh).

Disclaimer: Band-Aid may be accompanied by 'You've gotten into film school' letter.

Written by mandudeman

April 27, 2011 at 8:17 am

Posted in Week 12: Progress

#39. The man with the screaming Band-Aid brain.

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As this blog has gone on, I’d like to think my photography skills have improved…. at least a little. If technically, I’ve gone from the worst person to ever fumble with the controls of a camera to the second worst person to ever fumble with the controls of a camera, I’ll consider this a huge success. Conveniently, though, the easiest way to remove any sense of progress is to let it stew in the furious, anxiety-ridden screaming cacophony that is my brain.

You see, Passover is this weekend, and I was planning on doing some more, potentially Passover-related blog entries over the weekend. Which would totally be awesome, except for the whole screaming anxiety thing.

I have an aunt who’s a professional photographer. She’s gonna be at Passover. And somewhere in my mind is the thought that doing any kind of amateur, class-required photography in front of her would shame me over how terrible I am at it. Now if I’ve made any kind of being-less-of-a-crazy-person progress over the last couple of years, then hopefully I’ll be less of a crazy person, but really I just don’t know. The only way to truly tell if I’ve made any progress in this is to construct some kind of gigantic brain made out of Band-Aids, and then take a photo of it in front of my aunt. One hopes that the addition of Band-Aids, and the necessity of having to do art-y stuff with Band-Aids will push me through the point of no return and into a-little-less-crazy town. But we won’t truly find out until I try this weekend.

Only then will we know.

Only then.

Update: So I didn’t actually construct any giant Band-Aid brains, but my aunt noticed the old, used Band-Aids still stuck to the back of my computer and we ended up chatting about the blog. Sooooooo… I’m still gonna mark that one in the ‘win’ column.

Written by mandudeman

April 25, 2011 at 5:40 am

Posted in Week 12: Progress