Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

Archive for the ‘Week 4: Culture’ Category

#17. Siblings sure are fun to pester. To pester about Band-Aids.

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Tonight sure is catch-up night, huh. Well here’s a late-entry culture one for ya.

What’s more important in terms of culture than Los Angeles?
And what’s more important in Los Angeles than food culture?

If your answer is ‘a lot of things,’ well, you’re probably right. But I have a real live sister out there in LA, so here’s my exclusive interview with her. About food culture. And Band-Aids. She hurt her hand cutting an avocado. Enjoy.

Me (Adam): So food culture’s pretty big in LA. Avocados are a big part of that, right?

Her (Rebecca): Avocados show up… pretty much everywhere. They show up at breakfast. They show up at lunch, on sandwiches. Sometimes they show up in dessert, on weird ice cream. They’re always in season… it never really gets that cold.

A: Ok, so tell me about the actual cutting-of-your-hand incedent.

R: Well, I was using one of those serrated steak knives, but really, that was stupid, because you don’t need anything thaaaat sharp. And I wanted to poke it into the pit, but instead poked it into my hand. The knife slipped off the edge of the pit-it’s hard, it kind of bounced off.

A: And when that first happened… you used a Band-Aid?

R: Well first I used a paper towel, which I squeezed on the cut to stop the bleeding while I called Dad, as though he was going to help. While I was on the phone with Dad, I thought no one was home, and I was dripping blood all over the kitchen, and one of my roommates popped her head out of her room with a ‘what’s going on?’ And then I didn’t want to go deal with this, but she did- it looked really gross. She drove me to the doctor. Then as the bleeding stopped I thought I’d put a regular Band-Aid on it. Which I did… but I was afraid of tetanus, so I ended up having to go and get stitches.

A: So tell me about getting the stitches.

R: Well, I said I didn’t think I needed any, and the doctor replied ‘yes you do,’ so he ended up giving me three. But then I had to keep Neosporin on the stitches, and I had to use a Band-Aid to keep the Neosporin in place. It was just a regular Band-Aid.

A: So is that basically the whole story?

R: That’s pretty much what happened. But then later on we went to the beach, so I had to get a bunch of different Band-Aids. I literally spent fifteen minutes in the CVS standing there and looking at all the different kinds, because if you’re in the market for a different kind of Band-Aid you have to choose between waterproof, antibiotic, sterile, ginormous, storebrand, namebrand, latex, cloth, and it’s really difficult to make those decisions when your hand is throbbing like it’s about to fall off. Even after I stopped using the Neosporin on it, I still kept the Band-Aids over the stitches so people wouldn’t, you know, think I was some kind of freak. People don’t ask questions about Band-Aids, but they do ask questions about big black shiny stitches.

 

Honestly this was actually kind of fun. Especially trying to decipher my own poorly-typed shorthand notes after she had finished talking. That was definitely the best part.

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Written by mandudeman

March 2, 2011 at 7:30 am

Posted in Week 4: Culture

#14. Hoooo doggies.

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Do you know what would be great? Being able to do these blog posts in a timely manner. One day, sweet readers. One day…

But enough about me- how ’bout some Band-Aids? Yeah, that would really hit the spot right now. And by ‘right now’ I mean ‘while I’m sitting in chemistry class.’ CHEMISTRY IN SOCIETY, to be specific. The class is ok, I guess. Unless some chemistry-related official/teacher somehow gets ahold of this, in which case, chemistry and all of its trappings are so splendidly wonderful I can’t keep myself from skipping to and from the lecture hall each morning.

That should about do it.

So here’s my jolly ol’ no-punctuation thought process here in chem class: Band-Aids heal things plus there’s a hole in the ozone layer someone should slap a Band-Aid on that ozone hole presto change-o no more greenhouse gases or horrible carbon footprint problems.

Now, the problem with that horrendous run-on sentence (besides it being a horrendous run-on sentence… but you already knew that) is that I don’t have anywhere near the photoshop/pencil and paper skills necessary to make ‘Band-Aiding the ozone hole’ happen. Also, the idea itself is pretty cheesy. But I can run with this… somehow. Mmm-hmm.

Environmentally friendly-ness is all the rage nowadays. An Inconvenient Truth won an Oscar (obligatory Oscar reference), and NBC has an annual green week, where every show does an enviro-friendly episode for a whole week of enviro-fun. So if being green has become ‘in’ in today’s culture, allow me to pose a question:

How biodegradable ARE Band-Aids, anyway?

That’s a question that’s both cool and culturally relevant. You know, for culture. Yeah. Totally.

So… I googled this important query. The answer is disappointing, peculiar, and also kinda creepy and gross. You wanna know what it is, gentle readers? Do ya? Do ya huh huh do ya huh?

Well, as it turns out, your average Band-Aid ain’t so biodegradable. Upset? I know I was. Until I read that the good ladies and gentlemen of North Carolina State University are developing the biodegradable Band-Aids I didn’t know I needed until 20 minutes ago but now crave with every fiber of my being. But what’s awesome (or gross, depending on where you fall on the gross/awesome scale) is that these biodegradable Band-Aids will apparently biodegrade as you wear them, until the point where they fuse onto you and ‘become part of the healed skin’ (from the North Carolina State University website).

Cue the collective Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, ladies and gentlemen. But you know what? That ‘ew’ might just save a few trees. Or something. Maybe there’d be one less landfill full of Band-Aids. Just picture that. A landfill overflowing with gross used Band-Aids. Al Gore watching in solemn silence, a single tear idling down his cheek.

Having your medical supplies fuse to your skin doesn’t sound so gross now, does it?

Well, it still does. But whatever.

Written by mandudeman

February 28, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Posted in Week 4: Culture

#13. Culture culture culture culture culture. Culture.

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I worked really hard on that title. Can you tell?

So I tried a short post last time and not only was it A: easier on my fingers because I didn’t have to type half a novel into my computer keyboard, but also B: More challenging, because there’s this thing called “editing,” and it’s really super, and who could forget C: Someone left a comment on here saying they liked the lack of rambling. So I’m totally gonna run with this and try to edit my posts down to a more advertising-friendly (i.e.-  short) length. How ’bout the 200-300ish range today? Yeah, that sounds good.

I’m in a constant struggle with this culture thing. My temptation is to just take some generic television or movie-culture related issue (that IS my forte, after all), and then harp on about it while shoehorning in Band-Aids in the cheapest/easiest/most obvious way possible. So I’m fighting that. This is a culture post. But I’m trying real’ hard to stray from my comfort zone.

It struck me in Italian 102 this morning that I have no idea if Band-Aids are as recognizable in other countries as they are here in the US. It also struck me that I could have asked the teacher something innocuous, like ‘Come si dice Band-Aid?” (How do you say ‘Band-Aid,’ for those that haven’t experienced the joys of ITAL 102), and then tried to steer her response into a discussion of Band-Aids in other cultures. But, it also also struck me that I don’t have the social skills in Italian to steer anyone towards anything besides directions to the zoo, or a benign question about someone’s grandfather. So that idea kinda went out the window. Also, what would our discussion be, really? First, she’d probably say that ‘Band-Aid’ in italian is either ‘Band-Aid’ (gasp), or some word for bandage. Then, if I pushed it further, I’m guessing I’d learn that people in Italy either use Band-Aids fairly often, or that Band-Aid is more of an America-only brand. Hypothetical case closed.

For a while, I was thinking about how the skin-color Band-Aids really only come in one color, and that piqued a ‘holy crap! People in other cultures have might not have beige skin!’ thought. There’s a quick fix for that, though- clear Band-Aids. Sort of a ‘one-size-fits-all’ kind of thing. Only the size isn’t the issue. It’s just a poorly-worded metaphor.

So there you have it. It’s me, rambling about Band-Aids in other cultures. With the added benefits of fewer words and more editing.

Written by mandudeman

February 23, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Posted in Week 4: Culture

#12. I’m changing things up a bit. But not too much. Or at all, really.

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So, in looking back at my body of work so far, it seems I have this tendency to write giant sprawling paragraphs of rambling, long-winded crap. So in the interest of ‘let’s have every post not look the same,’ here’s the rule for today.

100 words. Band-Aids. Culture. On three.

One

Two

Three

So, in terms of cultural relevancy, where are Band-Aids right now? To be honest, I haven’t used one in at least two, maybe three years, and honestly I don’t really see them on people. That much. Granted, it’s not like your average college student pokes a knife into his hand every few days… one hopes… but just how much clout do they have right now? Band-Aid clout, that is. I mean, I own Band-Aids. And I have at least four Band-Aid memories. I’m not trying to be negative, I swear. I was just saying, like, you know… what’s the deal.

That was actually a lot harder than it looked. Like, no joke. Now here’s a picture for your troubles.

 

There's a Band-Aid. On a Macbook. Keeping me from babbling like an unmedicated mental patient. What with the brevity, and all.

Written by mandudeman

February 22, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Posted in Week 4: Culture

#11. A whole new chapter in blogging. Although, technically, you could consider every post a new chapter, in which case there’d be nothing new or different about this one. Except that it’s so long.

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Dear readers (I’m guessing there are… four… of you. That sounds about right), I’m about to commit a mortal sin.

Google Images.

Shocking, I know. But it’s a necessary evil.

Alright here ’tis. Image Googling “C-a-r-s B-a-n-d-A-i-d-s.”

And this is what I get.

 

I know. It’s not pretty. But we must look.

 

Do you know what the best part of this week’s directive is? Culture. That could be ANYTHING. And considering I stretch most of these directives waaaaaay past the point of logic or normal human reasoning, there’s really no limit to what I can do this week. Woo. So today, ‘culture’ is going to be how Hollywood films in our society are quickly losing what little artistic merit they had, leaving us with nothing but hollowed-out, marketing-driven, 2+ hour long excuses to print fun shapes onto Band-Aids.

Neat, huh?

I wonder if there’s something fundamentally wrong with that idea. Like, shouldn’t I focus on how great Band-Aids are? Because they are. They’re great. And yet, I came to this idea because I was upset. Upset because I like Pixar movies- I like ’em a whole lot. I like every single one. If, before a movie starts, I see a lamp stomping down a big ‘ole ‘I’ and then looking bashfully out at the audience,  I know it’s a movie I’ll wish I could keep watching long after it’s ended. Hell, I even looked up the lamp video on Youtube so I could pick out the right adjective (‘bashfully’ works pretty well, I think), and I got this fuzzy little feeling in my stomach. It was nice.

But what’s not nice? Cars. I may have said about a paragraph ago that I liked every Pixar movie, but GUESS WHAT- that was totally a lie. Cars sucks noodles (and by ‘sucks noodles,’ I really mean something much more profane). It’s actually not thaaaaat bad, but because Cars is a C+ or so movie breaking up an eleven-movie winning streak, it slowly snowballs down the bunny slope of my subconscious until it becomes an unholy evil with glowing silver orbs for eyes and crooked teeth speckled with bits of gore. Cars. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll drop to my knees and scream its name out into the fragile, motionless night if someone happens to mention it in casual conversation.

And now it’s gotten worse. Cars 2 is real. Cars 2 is coming out this summer. I had known about Cars 2 for a couple years, but kept it stuffed into a back corner of my mind to preserve my sanity. However, for the sake of this blog, I let all that go to hell and watched a trailer for it on Youtube. It hurt. So much. But acute psychological torture is the key to good blogging, or so I’m told, so I stayed with that video ’till the bitter end.

I feel as though I’m straying from my Band-Aid-y theme, so let’s un-digress, shall we? Fun fact- Did you know that Cars is a huuuuuuuge merchandising powerhouse for Disney? An anthropomorphic vehicle money-generating juggernaut?

It’s true, you know. About ten percent of all Disney merchandise sales have been Cars products since the movie was released in 2006. All the Mickey Mouse and Goofy and the 70+ years’ worth of movies that are practically ingrained into peoples’ childhoods… and that one movie where the crappy cars talk like Larry The Cable Guy gets a 10% share. A 10% share of a figure that usually hits around the thirty billion dollar mark. Crazy, huh. And it gets a little weirder- the movie itself is third from the bottom in terms of total money made at the box office, so if I had to guess, it’s that the designs are so generic that they can appeal to any kid, whether he/she has seen the movie or not. But that’s just me. Whatever the reason, those cars are everywhere- in our icepacks and our ceramic dishware and our LCD TVs with built in DVD players. And in our Band-Aids. So when I read that the head of Disney’s consumer products division is expecting “a record for merchandise sales” with Cars 2, I knew my mission- to drive down to Kroger and smush every box of Cars Band-Aids I could get my hands on, while I screamed and wept like a child and generally made as huge a scene as possible.

I didn’t do that, though. Even though it would have been AWESOME.

 

Oh, and here are some sources so that people (count ’em- four whole people) know I’m not just pulling those figures out of my ass.

http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-06-02/disney-aims-to-double-merchandise-sales-mooney-says-update1-.html

http://www.brandweek.com/bw/content_display/news-and-features/licensing/e3i4fac3531390a953c3b16bee60faa18c4

http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/series/Pixar.php

 

Written by mandudeman

February 21, 2011 at 7:43 am

Posted in Week 4: Culture