Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

#46. sevitcepsrep wen emos tuo gniyrT

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There may or may not be a puzzle in that title. I’ll let you figure it out. But anyway, I need a new perspective on Band-Aids, so I’m just gonna free-think some hot shit here. Might be insightful. Might be fuck-awful. Either way… it seems like there’ll be a lot of swearing. Maybe that just comes with the word ‘free-think.’

What’s a Band-Aid backwards? It’s a diA-dnaB. If it were a word, it’d be Diadnab. Sounds like a sexy jewel heist (diamond nab), or an 80’s cola that’s sugar-free (Diet Nab. Nab rhymes with TaB).

So…. nothing there.

Ok, so the intended effect of a Band-Aid is to comfort someone, and to imply that there’s someone else out there who wants to heal you, and cares about you. What’s the backwards-perspective version of that?

A Band-Aid that wouldn’t be comfortable, and would actively state that the person applying the Band-Aid means you harm. In this situation, I’m assuming the evil Band-Aid would be made of thin, stretchy sandpaper, and would have cyanide on the sterile pad. I think if someone was to give me one of those, and try to apply it to a fresh scrape on my knee, there would be no love lost between us. A Band-Aid of hate and sorrow. Also it wouldn’t be called Diadnab, or even Evil Band-Aid. It’d be something hip, and spooky-sounding, like Sick-Make, or Crap-Bandage, or The Squirminizer. Also I feel like I’ve run this idea into the ground, so I’ll move on to something else.

Oh! Oh oh ohohohohohohhohohohhhho I got something. Something I’ve always wanted to incorporate into this blog.

In Community (Thursday nights 8PM Eastern on NBC), Dean Pelton says, at one point, “Thought we should just rip that Band-Aid off quickly.” He’s using Band-Aids…. in a negative light. The quote above is stated right after the Dean (Oh the Dean. How wacky he is) gives some particularly bad news to a crowd.

I always come back to this when I’m thinking about Band-Aids, because no one ever, at least as far as I can tell, has ever mentioned the whole ‘ripping off arm hair hurts like hell’ aspect of a Band-Aid. Granted, it’s not something that would motivate people to start buying up Band-Aids by the truckload, but it IS an aspect of the product’s image.

And just like that, my blatherings actually found their way into something useful.

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Written by mandudeman

May 4, 2011 at 4:17 am

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