Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

#32. Caaaaaaaat. Cat. Cat cat cat.

with one comment

I am not a cat person. Not at all. Not even a little.

I have now, nor have I ever, had any affiliation with any cat of any kind. I find them too standoffish to be lovable. Dogs, on the other hand, are so stupid and fun and rambunctious that every time I pass a dog on the sidewalk I have to physically fight the urge to squeal “WEEEEEEEEEEEEE” and rub my face all over his (her) precious little dog body.

So why is this important?

My girlfriend has a cat. So now I must get to know (and eventually, befriend) that which I have sworn never to affiliate myself with.

So far, it hasn’t been too bad. Cats, apparently, do this thing called ‘kneading,’ where they scritch their claws into whatever they’re standing on and, for lack of a better word, knead it. When said cat is sitting in my lap, it hurts like hell.

Really, the whole claw thing just weirds me out. I’m… well, terrified that the cat is going to mistake my face for some kind of cat toy and claw at me. And the cat senses this. It’ll sit in my lap, and ‘knead’ my shirt, getting closer and to my precious neck.

I need my neck to live. And cat claws sinking into my neck are, at least in my opinion, the exact opposite of being alive.

Now so far, I’ve been promised that my feline friend won’t ever attack me, but I’ll never really know for sure. Because at any moment, that promise could be broken. And when it is, I will need a metric shit-ton of Band-Aids.

Don’t believe how terrifying cats are? I showed it a Band-Aid. The following pictures document what happened next.

 

Wait for it...

 

Ow.

Ow.

 

Ow.

I’ve said all I need to say.

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Written by mandudeman

April 12, 2011 at 4:25 am

Posted in Week 9: Promise

One Response

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  1. This is a great idea. I enjoy seeing when people get reactions out of animals and people. Putting maybe 9 or 12 pictures in a single frame as one picture I feel would be more effective to understand the concept.

    -KB

    FishTank

    April 13, 2011 at 7:07 pm


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