Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

#30. Deep thoughts. Deep, deep thoughts.

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I’m feeling very… emotional. Right now. Which is odd.

One of the big things behind the ‘Band-Aid’ brand is that sense of comfort when you put one on. I think it’s because pain is, at least to me, something so intense and so unique that I flash right back to childhood- for the briefest moment after I stub my toe, or smack my forearm against a doorframe, everything washes away. The sense of adulthood I’ve built up over the years is gone- I don’t care about how I look or how I act or how I’m doing in school or what I’m doing socially. The things I’ve spent years obsessing over and building up to make a life for myself are gone in an instant, and when it’s gone I feel like a child again. The only thing I want is for someone to comfort me and make everything better.

I bring this up because something other than physical pain gave me this same sensation recently. To make a long story short, a friend on Skype changed his profile picture icon thingy to Totoro (You know, from My Neighbor Totoro). I’ve seen the movie before- I have an old, weird memory tied to it, something that’s so far back I can’t really tell whether it really happened or was a dream or my young mind warping the memory after so many years, but whatever.

The memory is as follows: I remember being around seven or eight, watching Totoro on VHS at my cousin’s house in Pittsburgh, and then borrowing the tape and bringing it home. At this point, things get fuzzy, but I remember watching the it at home two or three times without stopping, until either the VHS broke or the VCR broke or my parents just made me stop. Now, I was one of those kids who would cry at almost anything vaguely upsetting, but something about not being able to watch it a third (or second, or fourth, or whatever) time triggered something serious in me. I couldn’t tell you why. All I remember is feeling awful about the whole thing.

The problem with this is that it was so long ago I don’t remember what I was feeling, but there’s this vague feeling of guilt I still feel over whatever the hell happened with that VHS tape. I think I broke it, maybe. Honestly, I can’t really say.

Anyway, so I saw the Totoro picture on Skype, and, as a lark, figured I’d look up some videos on Youtube. One of them was the last minute or so of the movie, and when the ending credits rolled up, blammo.

You know how you can smell something from your childhood, and it brings back a rush of memory all in an instant?

Same thing here. I still don’t know why this VHS tape-related incident freaked me out so much, but all the weird upset-ness came flooding back in an instant. I can still feel it while I write this.

I’m starting to ramble, but the point is, I can, now, without a doubt, recall that childhood, can’t-stop-crying-and-just-want-everything-to-be-better feeling that, more often than not, would end itself in a Band-Aid.



Written by mandudeman

April 5, 2011 at 5:41 am

Posted in Week 7: Experience

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