Look at the blog, Larry. Just look at that blog.

This is gonna be about Band-Aids. It's pretty great.

#21. Band-Aids + Friends = Friend-Aids? …No. That’s awful.

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This one’s an idea that was stewing around in my brain-parts for quite some time now.

Here’s what was a-stewin’: How well do Band-Aids work as gifts?

Are they met with open-armed gladness? Or are they met with confusion, and an uncomfortable, stilted “thanks for giving me such a crap gift” hug?

Well, gentle wanderers of this world of Banded Aid, I have the definitive answer.

She looks thrilled. Or terrified beyond words any human could utter. Those two sorta go hand in hand.


Now what I could have done was just given her a box of Band-Aids, with like a bow or something on them. That would have been neat-o. But that wouldn’t really have been a ‘gift’ gift. Or, as an articulate person might say, ‘a gift with thought.’ That’s what I wanted. The gift that has thought.

So I thought and thought till my little brain pounded like a churn full of rich, creamery butter. And once I ate that butter, I found a pretty great gift idea.

See, Leslie up there, she’s a gym buddy of mine. And she hurt her shins a few weeks ago. And I distinctly remember her saying something about having to tape up her shins, and not having enough medical tape to do so.

From here, you know where this is going. But you actually don’t. I’m always four or five steps ahead- like the time I not only bought Johnson & Johnson brand  Band-Aid leg tape but ALSO a pack of Band-Aid brand blister removal Band-Aids. Do they sound kinda gross? Yes. Do they look weird, too? Ohhhhh yeah- imagine a little oval filled with some kind of hermetically sealed medical liquid, and you place it on a blister or something. Honestly, I bought ’em because they sounded practical and the box was shiny. It’s hard to see in the picture. But it’s soooo fucking shiny like you don’t even know, man.

But you don’t care about that. Maybe you do. Hopefully, though, you don’t. What you care about is poor Leslie’s reaction.

And here it is, straight from the Leslie’s mouth. And by that I mean I’m gonna type what she said. Here goes:

“I’m excited. But also confused.”

She later clarified that ‘excited’ was for the extra few leg-wraps she’ll able to accomplish. ‘Confused’ was why I bought her blister thingies.

She agreed, though, that the box was shiny. And in the end, that’s all I ever cared about.



Written by mandudeman

March 7, 2011 at 12:38 am

Posted in Week 5: Social

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